Collichio & Sons Restaurant Rant

Tom Collichio has made a reputation on television as a celebrity chef alongside Bobby Flay and Gordon Ramsay.  He can cook with the best.  But can he run a media empire based on food?

Reviewing a celebrity chef in NYC is gilding the lilly.  Professionals in the little circle of the restaurant trade make a living doing this.  Like Andrea Thompson in the New Yorker.  But as a paying patron, and restaurant professional, I recommend to other travelers where to go and avoid.  So here goes.

Eating in Chelsea is a challenge.  The quantity and variety of places make decision making a challenge.  After all, we can only eat in a limited number of places each day!  What a wonderful conundrum!

When kicking around the Chelsea neighborhood the other day, we were pleased to see another Collichio restaurant, having become fans of Craft.

We went in, an found a wait, but were very pleased to sit immediately at the kitchen bar, always my favorite seat!

From here we could see the workflow (our profession), the work skills, ticket flow, everything on the menu, and technique.  Happily, it was a pleasant way to spend the time while we waited.

The restaurant was full.  Service was non existent for us for about a half hour, but we were entertained.  We also noticed that with more than 100 seats full, the three cooks working the oven were not just in the weeds, they were in the forest.  Who designs a kitchen/dining room that is so far out of balance?  Imagine you and two friends cooking for a group of 100, ordering from a menu of about 30 items and expecting their food to be served within about 20 minutes.  Impossible?  Yes it is.

The menu is produced in a woodfired oven.  Simple.  I worked on developing such a concept and admire it.  Some of the food looked good, but the inconsistency was pronounced as food was produced at breakneck speed.  Three working individually, not coordinating or as a team.

Finally, we were served. Sort of.  We waited for water, to have the order taken.  All because of the imbalance between seats and kitchen capacity.  A fundamental design screw up.  Mr. Collichio?

When we received our food, still in good humor because of our proximity to the oven, the taste was good.  But on a pie that was featuring artisanal sausage, we had one, yes one piece of meat.  We watched as the pizza, too long on the paddle waiting to get in the oven, was stuck to the wood, and as the cook tried to shake it off in the oven, the toppings slid onto the oven deck.  Lost.  But when in the weeds so deep?  Get the food out!  Any food is better than a re-fire.  Our roast vegetable dish was portioned in a laughable way.  Rather than grab vegs from each container, the cook used a spatula, reaching under the arms of another cook.  She simply neglected to reach the brussels sprouts.  This was rectified when we complained, and we were graciously given a side order of sprouts.

The flavors were good, really good.  The entertainment was fun.  The service was forgivable.  The restaurant design and conception is abysmal.  People can't overcome bad planning.

Mr Collichio, has your inattention to the restaurants been completely overwhelmed by focus on your media empire?  We see this over and over again.  The need to promote the business turns into a belief that the chef is a brand.  The demand for growth makes each additional restaurant less representative of the original.  Not knowing when you go from chef/perfectionist/craftsman to executive/media star/personality.

Restaurant Review- Red Mill Makes Enigmatic Burgers

Sometimes the hamburger is not a hamburger.  Red Mill is widely acclaimed as THE place for hamburgers in Seattle.  There are a lot of things to recommend it, but maybe not hamburger.  However, the hamburgers are good.  I will explain.

First, you know you are there when you get there- it is in a very trendy part of town.  The building is what you would design to be designated as a neighborhood "dive".  Not too self conscious.  Nicely balanced.  The menu is simple, and burger centric.  Nice little touches like the loose-leaf paper inside the plastic sleeve written in a Sharpie to let you know their secret sauce is "NOT 1000 island dressing".  OK.  The line out the door, the cuties behind the counter, and the people in line tell you this is the place to be.  It must be good.  We shall see...

Prices are a pleasant surprise! I can get a burger deluxe (lettuce, tomato onion), for just over $4.  Then on up to top out at less than $7.  A big line of meat alternative burgers.  Shakes for just over $3, fries $1.85.  So thats where the margins are.  OK.  Get in line, order, wait.  Watch the hockey puck meat patties hit the grill.  Uh oh!  Of course, they MAY have to grind in the early morning hours, patty the meat and stack it with parchment separators to keep up with this volume.  Hang in there...

Name called, burgers come.  Good tray presentation- this is the way a tray of burger love looks.  Fries may be house made, probably not, but they are decent.  The frozen fry world has really improved.  Malt was malty, and chocolatey.  Hershey's.  Good, but a bit too heavy handed on the syrup, still, that is a matter of taste. 

Burgers: The Verde burger- WOW!  Like the little hand made sign said, they really invest in the green chiles.   If you look at the fresh roasted Anaheim chiles, you can see a lot of work, and a lot of chiles.  Perfect heat and flavor.  This makes the Verde worth the premium.  And the Bleu- the cheese is the right bleu  that doesn't overwhelm, but there is a significant portion- very unusual indeed!  But the bacon on this same burger?  Over cooked, not fresh, seems not to be thoughtful.  Too bad, it is almost worth the premium.

But, take a look at the basic burger deluxe.  Nice- leaf lettuce.  The right way.  The burger patty?  A dry, lifeless puck o meat.  Wide, not too thick, not too tasty.  Like the bun, it is a vehicle for the rest of the art.

Ironically, the meat comes in boxes from MacDonald Meat Co.  

Honorable mention- the onion rings.  Thick sweet onion slices, spicy, perfectly cooked.  Forget the fries, this is the way to go, and something to go here for.    

Confused?  So am I.  Is Seattle so easy to please?  Let's think about it.  No promise was made of fresh ground designer beef.  Price, atmosphere food quality all in balance.  This is not a damn $12 burger!  Its an honest, simple, right priced sandwich.  I would definitely go back, and its the Verde burger for me- let the meat be the vehicle for the chiles!  But is this the place to enter in Seattle's quest for the BBW? You decide.